When the pain comes, it’s hard to focus on anything else. When the pain saps your strength it’s hard not to be angry. When the pain won’t relinquish it’s hold, it’s hard to remember that this life is only but a short dream. Each hour can feel like an eternity.
We each must find our own mechanism to cope, not hide. We must try to deal with our pain without checking out from the world, without attempting to drown it out with alcohol and drugs, no matter how tempting it may be to try and gain a little relief .
I know better than most where my focus should be, where my priorities should lie, but the flares of pain make me angry, anxious… helpless. It fills my thoughts and mind so that I feel manic, ready to ignore what else I know to be true. It makes it difficult not to lash out at others who don’t know what’s attempting to hold my mind hostage.
Since we must find a release for this aggression and helplessness, I pray and attempt to keep occupied while waiting for relief. When I keep my mind busy with other tasks, the pain moves into the background. It becomes more manageable simply by avoiding attempts to manage it. What we must not do is fail in our faith, fall down in defeat and focus on this temporal trial. We must remember our other blessings, the other things in life that need and deserve our attention…we must go on living. We must remember our hope in another life to come, one without pain, tears or strife.